Community Discussions

Tips for Conquering a First Date

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First dates can be awkward, tough, and complicated... but they really don’t have to be. In my experience, here are some ways to make your first date as awesome as possible. Choosing a great location, a perfect time of day, and interesting questions to ask will allow you to turn that awkward small talk into real, fun conversation.

The end goal of the date should not be to achieve a second date. Your only goal should be to create a positive outcome and enjoy yourself. Positive outcome is for both parties to ultimately feel as though the date was worthwhile, whether that leads to a second date or not. (Even if you don’t click, a positive outcome could result in her saying, “Hey, I have a friend who you would be perfect with!” and achieving a second date that way. You never know.)

That being said, a few tips/ideas! Hopefully some of these are new and you haven’t heard them all before – this subreddit helped me when I was beginning to date, so I figured I could return the favor after gaining some experience :)

1. PICK YOUR LOCATION

• Coffee Shops are clutch for first dates. Try to avoid Starbucks, as they tend to be noisy and seating is very exposed. Instead, opt for a local café with a more intimate, cozy atmosphere. Coffee dates can be as brief or as long as you want, and they’re not a big investment.
• Bowling adds a fun activity to the mix and isn’t a huge monetary investment either. Most everyone has been bowling a few times in their life, and few people dislike it. Light competition makes for good flirting and laughs. However, as u/Stantron brought up, bowling could be a time investment and last longer than you bargained for. In addition, you’re always gonna be leaving the table to bowl, which could constantly pause conversation. Bowling may be better suited for a later date, but can be excellent as a first date if you already know the person (for example, if you have asked out a friend).
• Mini golf is similar to bowling, see above.
• Arcades are similar in the realm of activity/competition, but with a slightly geeky touch.
• Ice cream dates, like coffee dates, are best as a late evening activity and can be as short/long as you would like.
• Drinks at the bar as a late evening activity if you’re old enough and more interested in a spicy/flirty atmosphere. Just remember, this can get expensive quickly and it may be better to reserve alcohol for a later date.
• Pool at the bar (as suggested by u/FoolsGoldDogApe) is similar to drinks at the bar with a bit of light, flirty fun. And, you’re always staying right near your date (unlike bowling) so conversation won’t have to pause for the game to continue.

All of these things can be done inside if the weather is sour. If the date is going well, you could always combine two options, i.e. grabbing ice cream after bowling. If the weather is nice, combine one of the above options with a walk or something else outdoors! Low-key touching (like hand holding) is absolutely acceptable, but be respectful about it (i.e. “Do you mind if we hold hands?”)

2. PICK YOUR TIME

Try to avoid scheduling a first date around a big meal like dinner/lunch. Meals are expensive and you’re taking a bigger gamble with that if you don’t end up with a positive outcome. Morning/early afternoon dates always appear more casual and less sexual than late evening dates, so that’s something to consider, depending on what you want.

Furthermore, (also credit to u/Stantron) create a time window for yourself. Mention before the date occurs that you have to leave at a certain time after the date begins. An hour and a half would work as a solid window. That way, you have an out if the date doesn’t go well, without slighting the other party. If the date is going well, wrapping it up allows you to end on a positive note and improves the likelihood of a second date.

3. WHAT TO WEAR

Your three goals should be to...

• wear something flattering
• appear weather/season appropriate
• feel comfy and confident for the date activity

On that note, avoid wearing orange or brown, as those are not flattering colors on most people. Black, red, and blue are solid colors. Business casual is fine, a tailored T-shirt/blouse and jeans could be fine too, it just depends on the activity. Make sure you smell nice and have good hygiene.

4. INITIATE CONVERSATION

When you first see your date (whether you’re picking them up, they’re picking you up, or you’re meeting at a location) put on a smile and offer a greeting. “Hey (their name), I’m (your name), nice to meet you!” or “Hey (their name), great to see you again!” depending on circumstances. A brief hug would be appropriate here, but again, be respectful (i.e. by asking “Do you like hugs?”). Handshake would be somewhat appropriate, but a little professional for the scene. Read their movements/expressions and choose your action based on that.

As u/CrystalCritz and some others mentioned, always make sure you have their consent before initiating physical touch. And if someone touches you in a way you don’t like, don’t be afraid to say no and set a firm boundary. Your comfort and safety are important and should be recognized as such.

As u/doomt_26 mentioned, it is also appropriate in many cultures to give your date a greeting kiss on both cheeks!

5. MAKE CONVERSATION

As you proceed throughout your date, stay far away from certain topics, like...

• Family drama
• Political drama
• Your sexual preferences/history
• Your ex or lack of exes
• How much money you have/make

Unless these topics are extremely important to you and your date can only proceed if you are on the exact same page, OR unless you can navigate these topics appropriately, respectfully, and without a narrow mind (as pointed out by u/Trulymadlydeeplydo), it’s best not to directly ask about...

• Political affiliation
• Religious affiliation
• Health, including disabilities, physical illnesses, mental illnesses, etc
• Needs for future (like kids or marriage)

Keep conversation positive. No self deprecation if you can help it. It’s fine to throw in a joke about how you can’t cook to save your life, or you have a massive fear of heights, but only if they’re humorous and you can provide a funny, confident story about it too.

Overall, I know this sounds basic but, be yourself! Get to know them. You’re trying to gauge their personality just as much as they’re trying to gauge yours.

Afterward, your date should have a pretty good idea of:

• Your hobbies/passions/interests, what you do for fun
• Your job, what you do for work (without directly discussing money) and possibly what your most simple career goal for the future is
• Your education path, if you’re still in school
• Where you’re from

You should also have a pretty good idea of your date in these respects. When asking questions, try to avoid flat questions like “What are your hobbies? What is your job?” Instead, pose questions in a different way, like “So if you weren’t on this date right now, what would you be doing instead?” or “I read on your profile that you love traveling! That’s awesome, where have you been?” or “You said you like skating, that’s really cool. How did you get started with that?”

If your date asks you a flat question, you can still respond in a way that creates deeper conversation. For example sake, let’s say your date opens up with “How are you?”

Instead of “Great, how are you?” let’s reply with something interesting. “I’m great, thanks for asking! I just started a new Netflix series and it has me hooked, so life is good right now. How are you?” (That would allow him/her to pose more questions, like inquiring on the Netflix series or whatever)

As you dive deeper into conversation, you might be inclined to tell a scary/funny/crazy story. Go for it, as long as the story has a happy ending! For example, you can tell the story about how you got bitten by a shark and your friends hauled you out/saved you, but if one of your friends drowned in the process, that’s not first date material, that’s nightmare material. “First time” stories (first time doing a hobby like skiing/surfing, for example) can also be funny as long as they aren’t sexual in nature.

If conversation gets dry, comment on the atmosphere. “Wow, the bowling alley is pretty busy today. Have you ever been here before?” or “Dairy Queen ice cream never gets old. Do you have a favorite flavor?”

6. GIVE COMPLIMENTS

Flatter your partner, but be cautious. Don’t compliment physical features aside from style. Instead, try to compliment them on stuff they talk about, and don’t overdo it. Compliment choices and actions, not genetics.

Let’s say your date just brought up her hobby of writing books. “Wow, I really admire that! That must take a lot of dedication and talent.” Or, painting. “That’s so awesome! Do you have any pictures of your work that you could show me?” Or he offhandedly mentioned the recent death of a loved one. “I’m sorry, that must have been hard. You seem like a very strong person.”

AVOID, at all costs, sexual compliments. She doesn’t need to hear about her boobs and he doesn’t need to have someone doting on his muscles. Discussing his weight lifting hobby and doting on his muscles are very different things.

8. WHO PAYS?

Regardless of societal gender customs, you should always walk into a date expecting to either pay for both parties or split the bill. If you’re the one initiating the date, lean toward paying for both; if your date made the first move or if it was mutual (such as on a dating website), lean toward splitting. To be polite, always offer to pay your share, even if the other party has chosen to pay for you. If the date has gone well, you may offer to pay for your date, especially if you initiated the date to begin with.

7. HOW TO REJECT A SECOND DATE

So, the date is over. Conversation was good and you’re now at home, but you didn’t feel the spark. Several hours or a day after you leave, you receive a text thanking you for the great time, but you aren’t interested in a second date. How do you reject in a nice way?

• “Thank you for tonight! I’m not interested in a second date right now but I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”
• “You seem like a great guy, but we’re just not quite right for each other! Have a good weekend.”

If your date gets pushy and insistent, a “no” will suffice. You don’t need to JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain) after showing kindness once.

8. HOW TO SUGGEST A SECOND DATE

So, the date went well! After the successful time, give your date and yourself some time to process it. Waiting until the day afterward is perfect, although it’s also polite to give a little “Text me when you’re home safe!” if the date ends late at night.

After time has passed, shoot them an upfront message.

• “Hey, I really enjoyed last night and I would love to have a second date. Are you free to (do X activity) on (X date) at (X time)?”

I know that sounds pretty specific, but that’s the best way to gauge interest. If they respond with a yes, then you’ve got this! If they respond with another date/time, awesome!

If they simply reply that they’re busy, then either they would prefer another day/time and haven’t articulated it properly, or they just aren’t interested. Assume the latter. When your date is busy, leave the ball in their court.

• “No problem. If your schedule clears up and you’re interested in seeing each other again, just let me know. :)”

Bam. Done. Not complicated and you handled possible rejection like a confident pro. In this way, you don’t shut down future opportunities but appear understanding and non pushy.

I hope these tips are helpful and not overdone! I know some of these seem obvious, but I’ve noticed a lot of friends struggle in these categories. Let me know if you have any suggestions or feedback :)

Top Comment:

Grocery store? Really? How do you guys pull that off?

Forum: r/dating_advice

Cubic support release date?

Main Post:

Hey imma preface this by saying i play this deck too much.

Ever since the reveal date in January , The three cubic support cards have been hella good in testing, and I was wondering If anyone had any info or theories about an upcoming pack they could be in?

Top Comment:

Honestly there isn't any real way to know when we will get imports like that. We still haven't received mannequin cat or needle fiber.

All you can hope for is that it makes it in a main set at pack filler

Forum: r/yugioh

A collage generator with support for custom date ranges

Main Post:

I've been seeing a lot of users asking for a collage generator with support for custom date ranges. This may be useful to remember what music we were listening to at a certain range of time (birthdays, seasons, holidays, exact years, etc). After some experiments, I made that feature possible one week ago and I want to share it with y'all.

Up to 10x10 dimensions, it also supports artist collages and multiple users.

https://collage.caretas.club/

Top Comment: Other possible idea is to have an option where it does one column (or row) per month of your listening, so it's like a timeline

Forum: r/lastfm

tech support pls: I cannot save to path with date (in WLSH nodes) even tho it *does* save the images with the correct date. What am I doing wrong? I tried every fcking combination, but nothing worked. Is it simply not implemented for the "path" output? Or what? : comfyui

Main Post: tech support pls: I cannot save to path with date (in WLSH nodes) even tho it *does* save the images with the correct date. What am I doing wrong? I tried every fcking combination, but nothing worked. Is it simply not implemented for the "path" output? Or what? : comfyui

Forum: r/comfyui

Reddit - Dive into anything

Main Post: Reddit - Dive into anything

Forum: r/auckland

Qradar support end date.

Main Post:

We have perpetual license of QRadar in our infrastructure.

I just want to check when my QRadar premium support will expire but I can't find any details about this.

Please help... 🙁

Top Comment: As you've noticed, a QRadar installation using a perpetual capacity entitlement does not show support contract details within QRadar. Your reseller or IBM sales contact can provide your support contract expiration dates. If you are running on a hardware appliance, the latest possible end date for a hardware support contract would be 5 years after the hardware was originally purchased .

Forum: r/QRadar

Is it still worth using Windows 10 despite end of support in 2025?

Main Post:

Currently i am in the midst of purchasing my first laptop for school however i am on a strict budget so i opted for laptops that are a couple years old to save money such as the Latitude 5400, Ideapad 1, Elitebook 840 G6 and so on. Some of my choices appear to lack the processor needed to run Windows 11 and i wonder if going with Windows 10 may or may not be a disadvantage as i want to get at least 2 yrs out of my purchase for college and regular study use.

Update: I will go with a Windows 10 laptop capable of upgrading to 11. A Chromebook would likely be a good choice in the now but since i am unsure if ill use any foreign software ill just stick with Windows and upgrade if needed. Thanks for the responses guys! :)

Top Comment: My opinion. Windows 10 is going to be even harder for microsoft to drop than any of their past versions even if they drop support. Or they’ll push it back and push it back like xp. Most people will ride it out more than they did xp and software will support 10 for many more years to come because its better than 11 for many reasons including it works better on older hardware, which is going to be around for a long time to come

Forum: r/Windows10